I have been trying to follow everything in the bible. I stopped, because I realized I was doing it for the wrong reason. I was doing it more as an obligation, and I didn't actually desire it. I know it's impossible for humans to follow everything in the bible, everytime. I just am asking for advice and prayer that I do the right thing, but whatever I do I don't lose myself and I don't lose my fire. I still desire to follow God. But it feels like I'm stuck in one spot. I'm too righteous, according to all my family and I can even sense it from my friends. I'm not righteous enough, because I still falter and sin when I know it's wrong. I thought losing conviction would make it all easier. Truth is, it doesn't. I just pray that God gives me back the fire that I had, the joy I once had. I can feel myself mentally going back to a place that was not so great for me. God, you are the miracle worker. I know life can't always be great and my mindset can't always be great, but I pray that it will be majority of my life. That through everything bad, I am preparing through a breakthrough. I am adding to my testimony. I am only 13, but through my spiritual journey, I have already had to give up so much for God. Stop. Go back. Had to is what I automatically put. It's what I typed as I thought. When I gave it all up, I did it because I felt I had to, in order to impress God. I know God appreciates my sacrifice, but it takes away the meaning when it's not from my own desire. It used to be a mixture of a need to impress God and a desire. But I feel I've lost it. Everything I've given up, everything I will give up, God, make me feel confident in my decision. Let me not give it up only because I feel convicted, but because I love you. Show me how much better it is to live in your love than the worldly concepts. Give me joy so unexplainable that I can't put it to words even in my own head. Thank you God, for always listening. I love you. 🩷♾️