You feel out of place at Church, you sing the hymns yet feel like you dont belong to God. You pray, but wonder if He's disappointed in you. You cry all day and all night and don't even know why. You're family calls you overZealous and says you're taking Religion too far. Most of you're friends you thought Loved you abandoned you. You go in the gym and say in youre heart you are pathetic compared to all the bodybuilders there. You scroll on social media and say how much better the people look on there, how much more famous they are and how much "better they are then you". You think you're earthly family are ashamed of you, you think you're friends secretly hate you, and God you think is one who hasn't chosen you truly, who is waiting with wrath, and one you think hasn't chosen you. You think He is ashamed of you, you think you are a Judas. You don't think you're enough. You dont feel God and then think The Spirit Of The Lord has left you. You doubt constantly, and you ask questions like "Am I lukewarm", "have I gone too far", "sinned too much" and worst of all you say "Did God really chose me". You dont have to exalt yourself with pride,hatred and envy to be "good enough", nor do you need to loathe yourself to earn Gods Mercy. You don't need to carry the weight of youre anxieties and worrys on youre shoulders, Jesus already did that for you. You dont need to bleed emotionally enough to earn forgiveness from God youre already clean when you confess and repent. You thought you could hide behind self hatred or pride, but you don't need to fight this battle alone. God is with you there to give you strength, to help you fight anxiety and worry, to kill off sin and Repent. You can be honest with God. You are afraid if you do so maybe you will say something wrong, but God already knows what runs through youre heart saying it in words doesn't change that fact. You aren't a burden to Him, He wants you saved more then you yourself want to be saved, He Loves youre presence more then you yourself Love His Presence. Youre not disrupting His perfect plan by youre questions and requests he already sees them surfacing through youre mind and sometimes helps those situations before you even Pray it to Him. You've not exhausted Gods Patience He is waiting there with arms wide open and to transform youre life. At youre point of exhaustion you don't need to try and prove you're worthy, you can rest in The Lords presence still. When you are Humble and people around you mock and shout at it, that's not God punishing you; it's Him testing you. When you show Love and its ignored or twisted for others personal gain, that's not Gods presence shaking His head with disapproval, Jesus too healed 10 lepers and only one thanked Him, ministered to His 12 Disciples for 3 years and yet one betrayed Him forever, one betrayed Him temporarily, and the other 9 left. Only one stayed. You are not neglected when you dont hear Gods voice always, you are tested to see if you will stay in The Faith. God hasn't left you, youre not forgotten, you dont have to do this alone, you can tell God and let Him restore you with His Peace.