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3 weeks ago
Hello, I'm Bella, 15 years old. When I was young I was so close to God, I felt a deep connection. I was reading bible comics that really helped my young mind get closer to Him. I even remember kneeling and crying, praying for God to heal my brother. I remembered weeping because of what Jesus Christ had gone through. That's how much faith I had for him. Then, I got a phone and came across a post that sent fear through me, I was afraid that I lost that connection with Him. Mind you that was even before the pandemic so I spent the rest of the years away from Him. It was so distant, I was having a hard time believing in Him again, and I fell on sins. I'm a sinner by nature. When the pandemic struck, I was 9 or 10 by the time. And Christians started to spread the word of God using TikTok. I was afraid because I believed that He's coming soon and I would be sent straight to hell. So I started believing in Him again, but without heart. It was through fear. It wasn't genuine, I wasn't forming a genuine relationship with Him. So I gave it up. I continued living my life, and I was happy with what the world offered. I'm still a believer, but I wasn't a follower. Now, in 2025, I'm starting to grow my faith again. There's doubts, a lot of it. I wanted my connection and relation with Him to be genuine. My mind is my greatest opponent and my heart always tries to deceive me. When it feels like they're winning, God would send me messages through different people. I wanted to be a follower, but I'm still ashamed because of my past. I'm scared of what the crowd would think knowing that I was and still am a sinner. I wanted to live like Jesus Christ, but it was hard, I'm ashamed to show the world how much I love Him.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" (2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV)
I used to be terrified of public speaking let alone talking about God. Keep praying, and digging into scripture, definitely the gospels. Now I’ve preached my friends and pray continually. I’ll be honest, I was afraid every time I preached, but I knew God wanted me to do it, so I did. Ask for forgiveness and God will forgive you for your past. Seek the Kingdom first and everything by else will follow. Build a relationship with God and He’ll give you everything you need. I’ll pray for you, sister.
Hey Bella, remember this... I was, but then Jesus, and now..every single one of use has a past
Isaiah 43:18 “Do not remember the former things, Nor carefully consider things of the past.
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Want a deeper explanation?
As a teen, I've honestly felt the same way at times. It's so hard to be confident sometimes, even if you have a reason to be proud of what you've overcome with God. Just know that no matter what happens, he does see you. Everything you're going through, everything you've gone through, has made you into the wonderful person that you are. No one is perfect, so you don't need to force yourself to be. God wants me to tell you, no matter how far you think you are, God is always there , so surround yourself with reminders that he is there and have a blessed day. I don't know you , but God wants me to say, you are loved.