Abba, I want to say first thank you for your everlasting love. Thank you for grace that you give day by day. Thank you for each day that I am able to wake to the sun in my face as I wake from another nights rest in my bed in my room of my place. What a blessing the little things are because while they may seem little to me they are big things for others and a result of the prayers I have made to you even when I was unfaithful. I want to say thank you for your patience. Your willingness. Your selflessness. I know it must be painful to see so many of your children not choose you. To have children that seek to use you. to have children that don’t seek you at all. To see your children hurt. To blame you as though there is no enemy. I pray that I am able to change my ways that I am able to see you for who you are. To not be one of those children that want only what you can give them and only love you when things go right. I know that I have not been the best child. I have not been the best follower of you. Lord I want to know you better I want to love you even when things don’t go right for me. I want to love you beyond the thought that you have a plan for me and love you for the fact that I’m even still here to go through these trials. You are a great God there’s truly none like you. I know I could never be worthy, but I just wish I could. I want to feel the magnitude of your sacrifice, of your love to really embrace the fact that you do the things you do. That you did what you did knowing that some of us won’t choose you. I pray to feel that I am your child. That i will be one of the children you’ve called. That I will live the promise of everlasting life when you come back because I do believe that you are real. I do believe you will come back. I pray to have a genuine relationship with you, understanding that it’s me that needs to be more authentic in my love and desire for you. To seek you stronger than I could seek any other man. To love you more than I could possibly love my family. I thank you because even as I say these words, it is a testament that you are always present that you are always answering our prayers. I pray that I am able to see you as my friend while still giving you the respect that you deserve. I could never be worthy, but I pray for the intent to come to you. To understand that in order to be the best version of myself I need to include you in it because only you can make me that person. In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen